just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you had me at cake vodka
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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