question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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