I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
