Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
