You made me cry and you don't even care
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
