Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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