I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
