Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize