Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
