So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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