I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
