Where is the hickey?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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