I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The power of my boobs compel you
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
