It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
