So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am naked and annoyed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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