two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize