On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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