We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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