I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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