I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
