Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
