Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
