last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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