Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
