You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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