There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dignity is for republicans.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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