i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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