I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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