Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
