Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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