The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
