I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize