I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize