I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
