just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
