At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
