i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
