just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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