if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
