How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
