Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
