How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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