don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
