It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize