Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
