So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
