we have officially lost it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made