I just threw up on my dentist
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.