under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
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I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.