No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.