This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.