How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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