Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
