I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
