dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I would ride that face into the sunset
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize