I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
