She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Someone shit on the floor
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
