i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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