How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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