saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
