I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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