if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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