Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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