i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
