I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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