Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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