No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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