Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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