Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And then he peed in my hair
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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