I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
