does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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