i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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